Cinco de Mayo sequence of events:
9:02 am - Arrive at work.
9:04 am - Ready to leave work, perhaps go drink a beer
5:15 pm - Leave work, stop at FedEx to ship a package and there is a hot Asian woman in line in front of me, early 30's, great body, the day is already looking better
6:00 pm - Arrive at Cabo Cantina in Venice via bicycle. It's packed, I need a drink, I find my friends from my kickball team and get 2 beers for the price of 1.
6:45 pm - My beers are gone, so I order 2 more and a burrito. My friends order a margarita that comes in a glass a midget could bathe in.
7:00 pm - My third beer is gone and knowing how long the line will be, I head to the bathroom. I had several large gulps of said margarita and am feeling pretty good.
7:10 pm - I'm in line for the bathroom and shooting the shit with another dude in line. We are talking about how I am a genius for thinking of the idea of bars having a wall for its patrons to piss on.
7:30 pm - My fourth beer is disappearing, my burrito, its spicy salsa and my friends' margarita are rapidly making their way down my gullet, the sun is going down, but it's still 95 degrees in our booth.
8:00 pm - I head to the bathroom again. The line is long and full of chicks, but my friend is in the front of the line, so I go to the front of the line.
8:15 pm - My burrito is gone, my beers are gone, and I am poaching from the bevy of margaritas on the table.
8:20 pm - I order a margarita of my own - and make that a double, please. The guy sitting next to me and I are throwing ice and limes at our friend across the table. I am hitting her in the face like Kobe hits jumpshots. Every damn time.
8:25 pm - She dumps the ice from her finished margarita on me. It's hilarious to all, including me. I begin to plot my tactful revenge.
8:45 pm - I finish my margarita, but in our hot booth the ice has all melted. My friend sitting next to me is an accomplice in our plan to get said woman back. He gives me the ice from his margarita, distracts her, and I dump the ice down her shirt. If you can't take the heat then get out of the kitchen. I am too drunk to realize or care if she is offended.
9:00 pm - I am cross-eyed drunk, slurring, and need to leave. I exit without telling anyone. I can't read the combo on my bike lock, but I manage to unlock it. I get on my bike and ride home.
9:15 pm - Back at home my room mates and some friends are having a mellow cinco by drinking and making beer and eating some Mexican food. I go put on some sweatpants and lay in my bed. My room is spinning so I decide to leave my bed to avoid ralphing in it.
9:30 pm - Our neighbor is telling us about how he used to be married. I am surprised since he isn't very old. I also feel the urge to let some of this alcohol out in vomit form. I puke a little but not enough to be satisfied.
9:45 pm - I go try to puke again and I am more successful.
10:30 pm - My room is still spinning but I manage to fall asleep.
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