An Ode to Le'JayDe

What happens to the forlorn and crestfallen, the castaways and cutouts? How does one attempt to cope with the idea of failure or nomadic movement? Such questions come to mind when reflecting on the times spent with the man who would be called Le'JayDe.

His actions have proven legendary and almost stranger than fiction. A man, one man, moved from the hippest of boroughs to find himself in the slums of Santa Monica. Knowing that this simply wouldn't suffice, he supplanted himself in Venice, ne'er to cross that northern border again. This one, Jewish Jewish man, who ever-inadvisedly moved to Los Angeles without a car, found himself a job pouring overpriced wine and complicated breakfast cocktails to overpaid residents of said community.

And then disaster struck. This job, so near and dear to this Rusky's heart, was pulled out from underneath him, leaving him to fend for himself using only a mere pittance of government cheddar and the powers provided by cheap Scotch whiskey. Adventures transpired. Many of these adventures can ill be told in such a short space, and the rest are illegal to tell in 35 states. However, he embarked on many an adventure with the ever-brave and valiant Qwon, for whom he served as a personal assistant, and Qwon served as his personal assistant, as a benevolent and just Lord Jesus had prescribed.

Le'JayDe refused to give up. Oh yes, he refused with the heart of a homeless lion. He attempted to try to consider looking for jobs in such professions as real estate, personal training, and the military, though none proved suitable for the lifestyle demanded by a man of his status.

Finally, Fate waived her heavy man-hand and decreed that this smelly philanderer shall leave Venice and return to his home in the hippest borough. He shall leave and he shall leave soon. He shall leave with a trail of crushed skulls and smashed testicles behind him. He shall leave and perhaps never return again, providing he never wins the lottery or the people of Los Angeles cease to be douchey.

So, loyal readers and friends of Le'JayDe, that is it. A man who has cause fear in the minds of many people, especially intoxicated women, is bound for a place very much unlike this place here. Never again will you hear this thrifty man of early Abrahamic beliefs call a person doofy, never again will all your beer be missing and you will know exactly who drank it all, never again will you gaze deeply into the night and see that effervescent smile and know that things in the world are good. These things will simply never happen again.

Truth