Got an original slogan?

Remember that great Got Milk commercial from about 10 years ago? It was a work of genius, but it has spawned something so horrible that it must be killed immediately. Despite the fact that this commercial is pretty old, and even the milk processing board doesn't (or shouldn't) even use this slogan any more, people still think it is a viable and - get this - creative way to promote something.

These are all real:
Got Acai? Got Wax? Got Hope? Got Sand? Got Wolf? Got Net? Got Ketchup? Got Music? Got Drums?

They're endless. Even Southwest Airlines has done its own spinoff with its "Gotta get away?" spots. Is this what America has come to? Beating a dead horse with a concept that should only exist on "I Love the 90's?"

Waves, Women and Wine

"It's hard to get hold of and hard to let go..."

So quoth Modest Mouse in their most recent album, and I tend to agree. We wait and try hard to get things we want, but when we reach them they are gone, destined to live in eternal cycles of prospect and retrospect with an ephemeral refractory period.

Take my three favorite things, usually in this order: waves, women and wine. We anticipate the great feeling we get from them, but they are quickly ridden (waves and women) or swallowed. We try to savor the taste and feeling, but this is futile.

This is where one must learn to let go of that of which he has tried and tried to get hold, I suppose. I can try to get my last wave, woman, or sip of wine back, but short of a miracle, it is not going to happen. And would I really want it back? Do I want to relive my life's best experiences or forge ahead to create new ones?

We tend to resist change because it brings the unknown, but perhaps that which we resist most is that which sets us free. Perhaps change is the only thing we can count on. Everything we know of exists in the past, even what you just read. You can read it again, but it's will then re-enter the past.

Is it easy to get hold of or to let go? Probably not, but for me this inextricable pair is necessary to my survival.

Deja Vu

I don't really know how long this has been happening because it all seems to repeat and I am losing track of time, but I get deja vu at least a couple times a day. Unfortunately it isn't anything too exciting, like deja vu of a gorgeous woman with perfect breasts trying to seduce me. Everything is much more mundane. Walking through my office, driving and seeing certain signs, conversations with people...I'm may be losing it.

My exquisite French skills tell me that "deja vu" means "already seen," so have I already seen these things? I was stoned and I thought that maybe deja vu happens when a given number of objects in sight are common. I told you I was stoned right?

I guess it would be useful if I could do something with this deja vu blessing. I would be able to predict what someone is going to say, say it, and make them feel really awkward, or know that the 405-10 interchange is going to have a lot of traffic at 5:30PM and somehow find the perfect alternate route.

Anyone want me to read their crystal ball?