Dog vs. Human

It has been quite some time since I launched into a good rant, but this is 100% necessary. Today's target: the defenseless dog. Rather, his retarded owner.

As a PETA-fed society has become more relevant we now see dogs everywhere and not just in our friends' yards. I get the rap that I hate dogs. Not the case. I have actually lived with dogs for all except a couple months of my whole life and I love a friendly, well-trained dog. The problem I have is twofold but with the same root.

First, train your fucking dog. A dog older than a few months old should not bite, piss or shit in the house, go through trash, or fail to listen to his owner's commands.

Second, your dog is not a human. It should not be assumed that other people in a restaurant, office, gym, store, or any other place want to be around your dog. Perhaps we are trying to enjoy said experience without the distraction of thinking your wild and beloved pooch is about to squirt on my feet. No matter how recently you cleaned your dog, he did just roll in dirt and lick his nuts, so don't try that one.

I have some theories about what a dog symbolizes to owners, such as attachment issues, substitution for actual human interaction, insecurities, and others, but they are probably wrong and not relevant. How about just throwing a leash on that pup and leaving him outside while you eat or shop? He will be fine. Trust me.