Sunday, February 6, 2011

Surfline Translator App

I am soon to join all you toolbags with iPhones and I need some Apps to take up my time. I have a great idea for an App that many of us shredders will enjoy: I call it the Surfline Translator (Copyright Wisslin Dixie Enterprises 2011). This app uses a proprietary algorithm to take a report from a given spot and translate it into actual useful information. Consider a couple examples from today:


El Porto
This morning's dawn patrol: Clean lines with fun, scattered corners. Larger sets are a little inconsistent and overall shape looks a bit soft, so it might be a good idea to pack a fatter/fuller board today.

Translated: Small, closed out and already windy. Crowded as fuck. Go out if you want 3 new dings - 2 from the guy who hits you with his funboard and one from you punching your own board.

Rincon
This morning's dawn patrol: Clean, slow lines looking best for a fatter/fuller board. Workable with good shape but smaller and less consistent than yesterday.

Translated: Really small. If you leave now you can get to Mammoth by the start of the Super Bowl.

Cardiff
This morning's dawn patrol: Sectiony lines with a bit of a wobble/bump on it. Set waves show more definition. Cloudy with dense fog pockets and light winds too.

Translated: Pretty fun out there. You're lucky it isn't sunny or there would be 200,000 guys on longboards. Go rip pre-Super Bowl.

Ocean Beach SF
This morning's dawn patrol: Gusty N wind with some side-offshore funk/crumble to it. Definitely less size on tap today. Shape is just sectiony, crumbly and a bit mixed-up with a rare corner scattered around.

Translated: It's finally small enough to surf and not risk drowning and now it's windy. You're going to freeze you nuts off but go have a slay.

Venice
This morning's dawn patrol: Clean but looking pretty small overall with mainly knee high waves and occasional plus sets. Shape is mainly walled up with the best sets offering a short end corner.

Translated: It's Venice. It's closed out. If you don't know this by now then my Algerian prince friend has some Power Balance bracelets to sell you.

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