Visible Accessories

In the field of sociology, that in which I was classically and expertly trained as an undergraduate, theorists speak of "symbolic interaction." Covering aspects of social psychology, this generally states that people interact with what they see in other people. For example, we treat the same person different if he is driving a Lamborghini versus riding a skateboard. That guy could be Shaun White. Same guy, different treatment.

We all do this to some extent and it's not really a bad way to gain information about somebody, but I recently noticed a couple examples of this with people in my life who do it so blatantly that it's almost offensive. One does it for narcissistic means; the other as a mating ritual.

-First, a guy I used to know. This gentleman was an aspiring artist an serial accessorizer. Any activity that he did, he took a photo of it and put it on facebook and on his actual wall. His living room was full of every book he had ever read, and they were as esoteric as he could find. His music selection was always some shit you had never heard of. On the surface, judging from all his apparent activities and interests, this guy seemed really cool, but when people met him they would realize what a douche he was.

-Second is a girl I went out with recently. She approached me at a bar so I assumed she was interested and we ended up meeting up after for drinks. She was quite friendly if not a little dumb. She was from the 909 and didn't defy the stereotype. While we were at a bar, she asked me if I was attracted to tattoos. I said I wasn't particularly attracted to them but didn't mind. She said, "I looooove tattoos. I just think they're soooo sexy. They drive me nuts."

Later, she asked if there was one thing in the opposite sex that I'm attracted to and don't know why. I said not really. Again, she said, "I am sooooo into dreadlocks. They're so hot!" When I was leaving her place I noticed a firefighter's sticker on the back of her car and, displaying my sad sense of humor, asked if she was a firefighter. She replied, "No...but I date them!"

Ahem, she knew I do not have tattoos or dreadlocks, and am not a firefighter. It seemed that she was choosing partners based on select accessorized characteristics. That is, characteristics that can be purchased or are selected to make one seem a certain way. I consider many careers to qualify for this. I wondered what my accessory was the night she approached me. Then I realized she looked much cuter and fitter when I was drunk. By the way, another thing she loved, "LA. It's the best city everrrrr!"

Again, I think we all do this to a lesser extent. We dress as shredders, businesspeople, artists, or whatever we are, but knowing the personalities of these two people, it doesn't work when it is performed in the extreme and without a backup of viable personality. It seems to follow the hipster model of "look cool first, be cool second." I hope these people find each other and leave the keepers and good friends for myself and those who are like minded because they are lame.