Impermanence and the Art of Equanimity

This may come as preachy. It's not meant to be. I have learned a lot through reading several books and going to lectures on various strands of Buddhism, and I have formulated a series of opinions from this as it relates to real-world, Western life. Read, enjoy, disagree, agree, learn, or do whatever.

The topic of impermanence is so important within Buddhist practice because it hangs over all of the concepts - and even the teaching itself. It is important to talk a little about what would make something permanent so we can look at what makes something impermanent. Something that is permanent is something that has always been, is, and will always be. It will never change in size, shape, color, smell, taste, or any other characteristic. It will not change, for instance, from coal to diamond, from water to steam, or from a caterpillar to a butterfly. That being said, nothing has ever been permanent. There is nothing that exists today that has been in existence for eternity. The constant reminder that everything is impermanent is one of the things that keeps me sane.

It is useful for two reasons: awesome things and shitty things. Knowledge of impermanence in great for looking at awesome things because it helps us savor them. You know when you get that huge Double Double and it's hot and the cheese is melting and your mouth is on the verge of climax? You know that Double Double is going to go away. That feeling will not last forever and that is what makes that delicious dream of a burger so amazing. It is also nice to know that shitty things that come your way are going to go away - though not necessarily get better! You can be stuck in the mountains, it's freezing, you don't have any food, and your life sucks. You are certainly suffering, but it doesn't matter, because that situation is impermanent. You will either get food and warmth and survive or you will not, and you will die. There isn't a whole lot of gray area there, but knowledge of impermanence helps to look at any situation and know it will go away.

One useful exercise I learned is to look at yourself from outside your own body. Don't look from inside, the self, with a value judgement of the present situation. Instead take a look at yourself from a different person's perspective, or look with your own eyes but a few years down the line. Let's say a guy comes up to you in a bar and thinks you were checking out his lady. You weren't. She is fugly, but put that aside. Instead of steering from the emotion of the present moment, look at yourself from a few years down the line and decide what you want to create in that situation. I have found this to be the most effective way to diffuse any situation and turn things around so they turn out great in the end.

This attitude leads to the art of equanimity, or letting go. Once you have detached from your emotions and can make decisions based on your goals you have begun to learn to let go. Your emotions, after all, are always changing as well. You may feel apathetic, exhausted, euphoric, depressed, or many other things, but those will change. You know they will because you have felt all of them at some time!

A popular cliche that many people (often people who feel slighted) use is "I can forgive but I will not forget." To me, forgive is too vague, but it is along the same lines as "let go." I would replace this phrase with "I will let go." I don't know if I will forgive or forget, but I know I will let go. I know I will detach from my emotions, remember that everything is impermanent, and let go of whatever anger and animosity I have toward anybody. Just as constant change happens at different speeds for different things, equanimity happens at different speeds for different things. But I know I will let go.